Long Explanations

What's the good word?

It's Thursday morning and I was suppose to be out on a summer day but because of my busy team I can't even take my summer days I can go on and on and on about this, but this isn't a career or why life in corporate America sucks blog, it's a blog dedicated to reaching a goal (the specific goal weight lost). So today I'll dedicate some time to "You" or really ME :)

So sit back and enjoy the show (my apologies in advance if I jump from topic to topic, but this is my blog and I can do whatever I want to ;) and besides we all agreed that there are no blogs rule to follow!)

I want to begin with why I blog to begin with....Different reasons I suppose! I don't really blog to show and tell. I mean I get that in result of me blogging what I am essentially doing is "showing" and "telling" but truthfully I enjoy that I have some readers and that people stop from time to time and get a chuckle, maybe they :side eye me:, maybe they get a tad bit of inspiration, or maybe non of the above but I write mostly for me and put it out publicly there because I like the idea of freedom of expression. My ideas, thoughts, belief, wants, desire, heartaches, etc, etc are out there roaming around the virtual universe and it makes me feel a bit free because unlike others who hold everything in [[which I also do with certain things]] I am putting it OUT THERE in regards to weight lost at least. Lets face it if writing is what I like to do than I can always get a pen and notebook but by blogging I am allowed to express myself without looking at your face and reading your expressions on how stupid you think this or that is, I can talk and talk without being interrupted, I feel relieve when I vent even if no one is listening I PUT IT OUT THERE!!! I am learning more and more as an adult that is not healthy to hurt and leave it in and now a days everyone who is over the age 21 is facing something so why put my burden on there shoulders when I can BLOG! ;)

With that being said, I am very humbled by people who tell me they read my blog and enjoy it, so thank you and you and you for stopping by! It's nice to know that somewhere out there someone was feeling similar and someone relates and someone says "ah, I am not alone in this feeling". It's also always great to have people who known you for almost forever learn new things about you because of a BLOG! - Once again thanks for giving me a few of your mins!

Moving on, the other day I was hearing someone talk about losing weight and how hard it is or rather how they gained so much. I really wasn't paying close attention I was more concentrated on my phone and my FB newsfeed than listening to this. I knew what they were talking about and they both knew I had lost a lot of weight myself (29 pounds as of dates AOOOOW) and I knew I could have jumped in any time and said my two cents and for a moment I paused and was about to say "It's easy, if I can do it you can do it" but I didn't. I carried on with my business on FB and side convo with an other friend. Than when I got home I put a lot of thought into this (don't ask me why lol). I asked myself, why didn't I offer some advice, some encouragement, some tips, something? and than I realize "losing weight" is not only a physical journey but a mental one and somewhat spiritual one and I KNOW that it isn't EASY so why LIE! "If I can do it, you can do it" is very much B.S, because truthfully I know that how your universe is moving reflects how you will suceed in a battle to over come something (in this instance weight lost) I had a million excuses of why I didn't lose weight before so clearly (and if I am claiming it's so easy the obvious question to someone like myself would be "Why didn't you do it before) IT'S not something that everyone can do at any given period of their life....You really need a calling from within to set out a goal and plan for it and than ACCOMPLISH IT! So I came to this conclusion from all of this lol When the time is right it will happen and thats just how it works...The end! (lol I am glad out of this long winded convo,questioning I got that conclusion lol jejejeje)

Leading me to my next subject, August Goals. I realize in a few weeks (hopefully end of August) I will meet the initial goal I set out of 160, I soon will need to figure out if I want to aim for 150 or if I am okay at 160. I am already thinking of how I will be maintaining my weight loss OFF and OFF for good! But that bridge I will cross when I get there... I don't have any physical goal for this month and I don't have a number goal for this month either...rather I have I guess an internal goal for myself. I want to be at peace and when I am at peace with myself (which believe me most of the time I am) I WILL NOT LET YOU INTERRUPT that peace (which most of the time I do allow you to do that), Just like I fought for my body I now am ready to fight for my soul and seranity because I saw that BY ANY MEAN NECESSARY things can get accompish!

Hmm, so how am I really going to set out to reach this goal? I don't know =/

I know I want to be able to control my emotions, be able to have some self control (something Taurus people lack a lot of, WHERE MY TAURUS PEEPS AT jejeje), I know I don't want to be able to allow a tiny thing ruin my day, my night, my week but rather clean up the spill milk and just keep it moving. But I am human and I will have my moments and I am giving myself that but for the most part I want to be in control, I want to navigate my own car to happiness =]
I was able to accomplish 3 things out of 5 goals I set in my 5 year plan (est 2007) I think it's time to add this new goal and get to working!!!! We shall see what happens in the upcoming month

Kiddies, this post started Thursday morning and ended Friday morning, I hope your still here ;)

My "pre- weigh in" thoughts are none! I did good this week might be at the same number but that is okay (I kinda like that is now going slower it gives me more time to plan my next steps for the upcoming months) I don't think I am quite ready to be a "skinnie minnie"

But Sunday will come and I'll check in!!!

Have a great weekend =]

I know I will!

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-Ex Fat Girl!