Why are you doing this?

Today is Week 2 Day 4.....And in such a short amount of time I have discovered, learned so much that it amazes me. I started out a blog telling the world that I was ready to lose weight for so many reasons while eating Pizza (how cute), not really sure if I was serious, just bored and wanted to blog or if I was able to do it. By any mean necessary, today I look back at all my attempts through out my short life span and see how different this journey is already looking from the other times. Today I can say each and every of my weight loss goals will be met....BY ANY MEAN NECESSARY.....

The topic of how or why am I so determine to lose weight often comes about from different people. Do I have a certain place/event taking place that I need to get into shape, am I scared that my boyfriend will leave me, do I have low self esteem, am I miserable, do I buy into the media and believe that a certain look is acceptable....At first my general response was, I need to lose weight, however after days of contemplating on this, hearing other people personal reason as to why they want to lose weight, reading stranger blogs and just really trying to come up with an answer to myself I came up with this (cough cough) - I am doing it for all of the above! I wear my thick suit very well, it fits me nice and I have no problem with it at all! I wasn't miserable, at times I would wish I was different size for specific article of clothes but I be lying if I said my weight ever stopped me, sometimes I would use it as an excuse perhaps because excuses make everyone feel better. My weight never made me feel less than the next chic! However, I now want to see how the skinny suit fits me, If I can shine with a thick one, I wonder how one with less skin can shine...Fear of losing my boyfriend, I fear losing him because I love that sucker that much HOWEVER my weight should never be the reason why I lost him (not that I plan on losing him anytime soon) I want to appeal to his eyes so he gives me a motive to go the extra umph to do anything to get there, because in a room full of beautiful women I want him to feel so confident, proud of the one he has by his side and losing those extra 50 will make me feel that and believe that. I know he is very confident and proud of the lady by his side but I know I can be sexier (there is always room for improvement)....do I buy into the media, no not at all, women are beautiful despite skinny or fat, short or tall, etc I do however find more appealing a tone woman over a woman with a pouch that is just my preference not because someone made me believe this...so I want my body to appeal to my own eyes....I am doing this because I want to be able to run after Little JJ when he comes into this world, I am doing this because my body is my temple and it's asking for some repair by any mean necessary! I am doing this because I want to prove to myself that I can set a goal and achieve, And so I am doing this for a different number of reason and all they all pull me to thus far being successful.

Today I got my first "Are you losing weight" compliment and from my mother! My mother doesn't lie and tells it how it's suppose to be....So It's great that she is the first...she said she notices my face is getting longer, that is all I needed to hear to know that I am on the right track!

Later kiddies

--Ex Fat Girl