Who have I become.....I slowly have become the people I hated, someone constantly watching what she eats, counting calories, checking out the facts and figuring out if I should or how many I can eat per serving, writing down what I eat, making sure I get enough water, going to the gym and slowly becoming a regular where people know my machine and I know there (those unspoken gym rule for the regulars lol) and guess what I loveee it!!!!! I love that I am pushing harder that I have before and to be honest I could probably kick it up a notch without over doing it!
Today I met with a trainer to go over some routine (it was free why not) I actually told him a personal reason as to why I am more motivated to do so and funny how he knew where I was coming from....and while I was working out and looking at the mirror, that shawty staring at me was looking hott! Sweating and all!!! The pain is magical because you know it's a good type of feeling the I worked to the max, the I am doing the damn thing feeling! I am very proud of myself for fighting myself
BUTTT...I am not going to lie!
This has been so hard and I am learning everyday that in a way I was addicted to food....I used it to fill me up not only for like food/fuel but for everything and anything I am needed...If I got bored I would grab something, If I was happy I'd reward myself with something sweet, If I was sad or lonely I would eat a big portion......The tempetation is still there go but now like a craz-o I talk to myself and I do a bit more venting to random people....I know they don't care but it's better than talking to my fork and and an empty bowl! There are times I feel like whatever ain't shit changing my body is just like this this what I have to work with and I better make the best of it....other times I can pass the mirror and see changes that I am sure no one can lol cuz the mind is a powerful thing (cuz I swear my butt is looking bigger and my stomach is skrinking in).
Over rall it has been a challenge but not so hard because my entire self is ready for change...every part of me truly believe BY ANY MEAN NECESSARY!
-- Ex Fat Girl
Hello Ex-Fat Girl!
ReplyDeleteYour blof is so motivating, thank you!
I also tried so many different programs, but there is only one thing that has never lied to me: MY BATHROOM SCALE. I just bought one form bodytrace, its a web-scale. its cheap too, like 60. I am eating lean cuisine now every day since 1 week, lost 5 pounds so far! Not bad!
Hey Annie, WOOT WOOT way to go!!!!!! The scale never lie that's for sure someone suggest for me to use the doctor type one in the gym...I still haven't done my first weigh in but I look forward to it! Keep up the great job! =]
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