Stress typically describes a negative concept that can have an impact on one’s mental and physical well-being, but it is unclear what exactly defines stress and whether or not stress is a cause, an effect, or the process connecting the two.
- Aches and pains
- Diarrhea or constipation
- Increased frequency of urination
- Low blood sugar
- Nausea, dizziness
- Chest pain, rapid heartbeat
- Loss of sex drive
- Frequent colds
- Irregular periods.
- Eating more or less
- Sleeping too much or too little
- Isolating oneself from others
- Procrastinating or neglecting responsibilities
- Using alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs to relax
- Nervous habits (e.g. nail biting, pacing)
January- I was excited to face Parole with my honey my emotions were high. I had all these plans for he and I. I was just looking forward to a great 2012.
February- He went up against Parole and so I got anxious I was depending on my faith and knew that God will not fail me and he will be home. I was still at a high. Worried about the next steps for us as a free couple.
March- Boom the high quickly came down. He got denied. It crushed me. All of the faith, anxiousness, etc went away and got placed by a dark circle.
April-July - I am just left with the bitter taste of knowing that he's not going to be home and our next try won't be till 2013 how can I even continue this rode. I am lonely, bills stack so high I don't know what to do, living alone and taking care of a house is not easy. My friends are very little and I find myself doing nothing.
August- I decided to do something for myself and head to Miami. And while this brought some sort of distraction. The emptiness I felt was STRONG.
September-November - He see's parole again in December. I am eating with no self control. I am bored with my routine. Living in my apartment feels lonely and I am getting annoyed and bitter that I have to do this again. I am worried if I am at all ready for him. Financially I am still drowning.
End of November- We decide to help his chances to move, to move across to P.A I have a month to find a home where they accept parolees. I have to figure out what I am going to do with my good job, how will I maintain an apartment in NY/PA.
December- He see's parole and now we wait.
Obviously there is more to the picture but I wanted to give you a picture of how my life the last 12 months have been a crazy emotional roller coaster going UP and then zooming back down. My life by choice has been dictated by P.A DOC and by my love for this man (for which I understand it may or it may not worked out once he's home). I must also admit some of the stress I have encountered this year has not all been jail related but for the most part I think this is my biggest load!
With all that I can say that I been stressed for the last 12 months and I don't have one memory of just a good/relaxing time. What is worst that now at month 12 physically you can see what STRESS has done to me.
I am working on me! It was part of my aha moment and I have been enjoying it. I tried to detox but failed instead I discovered yummy healthy juices and just moved right into better eating. It has not been easy because a lot of times I want to turn to a bag of chips but I start to think about how my face has broken out. I think about the pounds I have put on and I how I am unhappy I am. So I pull away. Its been a week and I am okay mentally I am in a better space. I am fighting for a healthier/happier/sane 2013 without allowing P.A DOC to dictate my life because it's done enough.
On that note- I wish all of my readers a happy holiday and a brand new 2013 filled with nothing but happiness!!!